They misunderstand empathy and compassion as weakness. They try to establish their superiority and authority over someone else by demeaning or insulting them. Immature people react very negatively to perceived rejection or abandonment. They are very amicable when things are going their way, but as soon as they cannot control something, they are incapable of acting gracefully under pressure. They try to turn the tables around by acting like they rejected you, rather than accepting that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Immature people do not leave their comfort zones, and resent those who do. They box themselves and other people into comfortable categories from which they never grow from, because it gives them the semblance of control. They stick to the familiar and the known in their social and professional life. Immature people gaslight and blame others for their actions. They will take advantage of you, and victimize themselves. They will drag you down before you have the chance to expose their real selves to them.
They prefer the company of people they consider inferior or that they are able to dominate. Since they care so much about their public image, they appear to be superficially perfect. Since their sense of self-worth is based on a false sense of self, it is dependent on external validation.
They are impatient, and cannot stand the denial of immediate gratification of their selfish needs and desires. Immature people are materialistic and do not grasp the spiritual aspect of life. Being boastful about having a sex life. In high school if you have sex before your friends, it might be a sign you're more attractive and confident than them.
In the adult world pretty much everyone has a love life, and you'll just seem clueless and obnoxious if you try to brag about the fact that you're getting laid. Not knowing how to handle alcohol not that every adult has to drink. Making rookie mistakes like quickly drinking more than you can handle, before the booze has a chance to kick in.
More mature people don't fastidiously count their drinks, but even when they're letting loose, they have a sense of what their limits are. Having thoughts and opinions about the world that you think are really original and profound, when they're actually common and cliched. Lecturing older people about your new "discoveries", as if they haven't heard about it all already. Younger people are more prone to cockiness for this reason. More mature adults have greater perspective about their abilities.
A bunch of value systems are associated with teenagers and young adults. Some of these are okay in moderation, but definitely seen as immature if taken too far:. Everyone laughs at crude humor from time to time, but you can seem juvenile if it's the main thing you find funny, or you seem way more amused by it than other people: Farting, pooping, burping, and other bodily functions Watching people hurt themselves Hurting yourself to entertain your buddies e.
Derailing any attempts to take an interaction in a more serious direction. An immature approach to relationships Here are some things less-mature people do in their relationships with their friends, family members, and romantic partners: Having unrealistic expectations for their relationships, which might be mainly shaped by the media. They may expect their friends to always be available to hang out, provide endless emotional support, or always put them first.
They might assume their partners will be able to read their mind, be over the top romantic, or always be up for sex. They could believe their parents should be supportive of everything they do, and give them money whenever they ask for it. Think of how two kids can decide they're best friends after playing together for an hour. Being fickle and ending friendships quickly and easily, over something tiny. Making grand, melodramatic relationship gestures, e.
Playing games rather than being direct, e. Feeling insecure and fragile about their relationships, getting clingy or jealous easily. Think of a child who feels threatened and competitive because their dad gives the neighbor's kid a minute of attention. Never fully outgrowing the mentality that the opposite sex are an icky, inscrutable enemy team.
Viewing relationships based on "quantity" rather than "quality" factors, e. Playing dirty in order to "win" an argument, like denying they said something that undermines their point, or attacking the other person's character.
Resorting to childish insults. Hating to be corrected. Not being able to admit when they're wrong. Doubling down instead. Quickly escalating small differences of opinion into nasty arguments. Not being able to have a fairly calm discussion this isn't to say mature people never feel any emotions during a conflict. Being passive-aggressive, instead of handling a problem directly e. Holding onto grudges. Getting caught up in petty rivalries. An immature approach to problem solving or negotiation If a mature person wants something from someone they might try to use logical reasoning to argue their case, or offer a sensible compromise or trade.
Someone who's less-mature will resort to tactics like sulking, begging, cheap emotional manipulation, threats to not hang out anymore, and so on. Teenagers and young adults can get more obnoxious when they're out with a bunch of their friends. They get amped up and bold. They get loud and rowdy. They show off to each other. They start messing with random people. Think of a bunch of young guys driving to a nightclub, yelling stupid things out the window to people on the street.
Even if someone is mentally their age, they can be seen as less-mature if they have a style of speaking associated with teenagers: Using a lot of filler words or phrases, such as "like" or "you know? Again, there's nothing intrinsically better or worse about certain clothes or decorations, but some styles may cause others to see you as being a child in an adult's body.
I'm Chris Macleod. I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time.
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Search the site. The most crucial trait of emotional maturity is that it allows you to see things clearly and deal with problems in a healthy way. You can handle resentment, fear, grief, anger, insecurity, guilt, disappointment, and other emotions and feelings. So, what is emotional immaturity? They never learned how to protect themselves.
Possibly the most significant problem these people have is that they are incapable of talking about their feelings. This happens because they were discouraged to talk about their feelings when they were children and that had a lasting effect on them. They never learned how to recognize their emotions or deal with them. They will never know how to deal with difficulties appropriately. You could experience very strong, volatile emotions.
Sounds unrelated, but emotions can overwhelm you to the point where you completely ignore your body. At one point, you may stop eating and not be able to get out of bed. Do you truly want to find yourself in that situation? You need to be able to get through this hard time and learn how to deal with your own undeveloped emotions. Sometimes, even the strongest of us need it. The problem is deeply rooted in their childhood. That also includes behavioral patterns.
If your parents were very critical of you in your developmental years, this is what caused your emotional immaturity. Instead of applauding your efforts, your parents belittled you. This made you anxious that your progress and abilities could hurt your parents and their self-esteem. But you can change this. Although there are multiple symptoms of this issue, once you see the whole picture, it will be easy to spot them. They could even throw a tantrum. Praise them when they do something you like and let them know when you feel connected.
At the end of the day, you can always seek professional help. But immaturity causes a person to be unable to process or explain complicated emotions. We have to learn how to recognize, express, and deal with emotions. Your feelings are a part of you, and you need a partner who accepts that and expresses their own too.
Their emotional state makes it hard for them to think ahead and make any plans for the future. Instead, they tend to live in the moment and see how it goes. Even if this person sees a future with you, they will find it hard to communicate their vision. However, you two should be able to make a rough plan on where you want to be in a few years.
Answering these questions shows that you are committed and that you have an end goal for your love. But these people find it hard to think that way since they are just living day by day.
You could try to ask your partner these questions and try to formulate the answers together. You will probably see that they have difficulties with decision-making, so you will have to help them navigate through it.
One of the signs of emotional immaturity in a relationship is a lack of emotional intimacy, which will always leave you feeling disconnected. Relationships are built for two people who are willing to put in an equal amount of work because they both actively participate.
That said, sometimes emotionally immature people are really good at masking their issues. You may only become aware of this later down the line and feel like you were completely blind at the beginning. People with issues like these are very good at love-bombing you.
You thought of their childlike behavior as sweet or cute back then. You probably saw their playfulness as a sign of love.
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